I know I already posted earlier today but so much has happened since my post earlier. Brandon is drama drama dramaaaa.
Brandon cancelled his appointment with LDS Social Services tomorrow. He said there was many different reasons as to why he cancelled. But the first reason he gave me was "you cancelled on me so i cancelled the appointment" (in regards to us hanging out, which I still am not ready for) and the second was "I refuse to go talk to a counselor from your religion, and you have to be there." I'm really upset by all of this. He just went on and on. I think he's just trying to feel like he has some sort of control even though he really doesn't. He told me over and over again how much he loves me and wants to be with me. Every time he says the word "love" I just want to throw my phone at the wall and scream at him. This isn't love. I don't know what the heck this is, but it most definitely is not (nor ever will be) love.
Anyways, I finally was able to get him to reschedule for Monday with LDS Social Services. BUT, I have to be there and I have to hang out with him tomorrow night. Oh, and he has to drive tomorrow. *cough* Control freak. *cough* I have Chelsea on for tomorrow night and she's going to be in contact with me the entire time and will have my car keys at hand so she can come and get me if needed. Yes, I know, my best friend is wonderful. I'm so blessed to have her and other amazing people in my life who are here for me.
So, the point of this post:
Please please please pray for Brandon to be open minded and see why adoption is the right thing for this child.
Please pray that he will understand, and not fight me about this anymore.
Please pray that he will sign the waiver on Monday and all this fighting stops!
Please pray that I will be able to keep myself together tomorrow night and that everything goes smoothly.
I know I'm on the right path when it comes to adoption. But in order for this beautiful child to be placed into a loving, wonderful home with amazing parents Brandon must agree to it. I know it's not an easy choice to make, but the first step is to have an open heart and to realize that adoption is the right choice. It took me 25 weeks to be able to say that I felt adoption was the right thing and that I wanted to explore it further. 25 weeks. but unfortunately, I don't have that sort of time with Brandon.
I may not know you, and you may not know me...but every prayer helps. And I could really use the extra support right now.