Monday, April 11, 2011

Let the Countdown Begin!

Things are crazy crazy crazy...I'm just skipping the weekend update and focusing on today, since that's where the "interesting" stuff is.

Brandon was supposed to meet with me and Sharon to discuss what future paperwork would be coming his way. When I texted him to remind him about the appointment he responded with a curt "Nope. Busy." Errmm, okay, thanks for the heads up I guess. Immediately after that I received another text yelling at me about the papers he got served on Sunday. Insert "OH CRAP!" here and initiate panic.

 I had no idea he was getting served before our meeting with Sharon. I don't even know his address, how am I supposed to have him served? He yelled and yelled and didn't believe I was in the dark about him getting served. I basically had a mini panic attack in the middle of my Abnormal Psych class while all this was happening. I was stressed before with all these last minute projects for some of my classes and then Brandon freaking out at me just made everything so much more difficult! I really just wanted to cry. But I made it through the reast of my classes and immediately went and met with Sharon and explained what had happened.

I don't know what I would do without Sharon. She calmed me down and helped me realize that regardless of timing, Brandon would still freak out about being served. Plus he keeps saying that he refuses to sign a thing until paternity is proven, but we don't have that kind of time to just sit around. The ball is now in his court, and although this is terrifying, he has a limited amount of time to respond. Whatever happens next, I know it will be alright. If he files the papers with the courts, then it's time to step up and work out custody, which he will be limited to and I will make sure of that. My daughter deserves the best, and Brandon is unstable and I refuse to have my daughter around that. If he doesn't file with the courts, then I can continue with adoption. I really hope he doesn't...but until then I am living in constant fear. Every car door that slams outside my house and every time the door bell rings I jump. I am terrified. But I know that the clock has already begun to tick and that comforts me a little.

So, although I am stressed and emotionally exhausted, I know things will work out the way they are meant to. I only ask for your thoughts and prayers for me and my little one. I know I ask for this a lot, but I know they are helping and I can see it and feel it every day.

Love, Hannah and the little lady who is currently kicking my ribs :)


  1. ew! i hate the idea of babies moving inside of people. i'm going to be a weird preggo girl. but i'm so glad you posted, just for me. :)

  2. You'll end up loving it, Brit. I swear! It's so awkward at first but after a while it's just so comforting to feel that little nudge :)